Do Political Differences Destroy Marriages and Provide Grounds for Divorce?
Here are a few key ways to hold space for each spouse’s views on politics:
Instead of dismissing each other’s perspectives, consider them opportunities for growth and understanding. There’s always a chance to learn from differing viewpoints, and this can strengthen your relationship.
Be curious and ask open-ended questions to foster deeper understanding, even when disagreeing.
Shared values and goals, such as healthcare or education, can be a good starting point for constructive conversations.
Maintain respectful communication. Give your partner your full attention when they express their opinions, and use “I” statements instead of accusations or blame to keep the dialogue open and respectful.
Address disrespectful comments immediately; if you feel disrespected during political discussions, suggest constructive ways to express opinions without resorting to anger or disrespect.
Here are a few ways couple’s counseling can help your marriage navigate significant political differences:
Facilitating communication: The counselor acts as a mediator to help both parties have the opportunity to express their feelings without interruption or judgment.
Identifying underlying issues: Political disagreements often stem from deeper underlying issues within the relationship, such as communication patterns, trust issues, or differing values.
Promoting understanding: The counselor can help you and your spouse better understand each other’s perspectives by encouraging empathy and perspective-taking.
Developing conflict resolution strategies: A marriage counselor can teach you and your spouse practical conflict resolution strategies to manage political disagreements more effectively.
Setting boundaries: The counselor can help you and your spouse establish healthy boundaries around political discussions to prevent them from escalating into heated arguments.
Professional help can facilitate better understanding and communication between spouses, potentially salvaging your marriage.
In the event that there are just too many fundamental differences and the marriage is becoming irreconcilable please reach out for a complimentary discovery session.
Important to not, factual statistics from The Survey Center on American Life.
The marriage gap has long been a feature of American politics. Since at least the 1990s, married Americans—both men and women—have voted more consistently for Republican candidates than single Americans have. In 2024, we found that 48 percent of married voters were supporting Trump compared to 34 percent who had never been married, a 14-point gap.
There is another gap that caught my attention recently.
Fifty-six percent of men who are divorced said they are voting for Trump, compared to 42 percent of divorced women. The voting divide between men and women is larger among the formerly married than any other group. Married men and women report supporting Trump at remarkably similar rates (50 percent vs. 45 percent). Single men are somewhat more likely to vote for Trump than single women, a statistic that has been a topic of considerable comment.
The divorce divide in American politics is something new. Or rather, it’s something that’s rarely discussed. It’s not limited to voting preferences either. Divorced women are far more Democratic than divorced men, and the gender gap is wider among this group than any other. A majority (57 percent) of women who are currently divorced, and not remarried, identify as Democrats, compared to only 42 percent of divorced and not remarried men. The gender gap among married Americans is less than half the size, and even smaller among cohabitating couples. There’s a notable partisan gap among never-married Americans—women are significantly more Democratic than men (57 percent vs. 47 percent), but it’s still not as large as the gap among Americans who are divorced.
What to make of this?
First, it’s unlikely that it’s simply a quirk in the data since the pattern emerges from multiple high-quality sources. It also appears to have been around for a while. Looking back over the past two decades reveals an enduring division. However, in the last decade, the gender gap in political identity among this group has grown. Gallup polls show that the political divide between divorced men and women is larger today than it has been at any time over the last 20 years. A majority (54 percent) of divorced men identify as Republican compared to 41 percent of divorced women.
That married couples are politically aligned is not terribly surprising. Research has shown that couples “tend towards like-mindedness” in their political outlook over the span of the marriage. It’s even less so for Americans in cohabitating relationships. Political identity has become a salient factor in romantic partner selection, especially with the rise of online dating, and in the US, cohabitating couples tend to be comparatively young. One research paper found that politics played a significant role in the evaluation of prospective partners online, and their willingness to communicate. The authors write: “We find that participants consistently evaluate profiles more positively (e.g., had a greater interest in dating the individual presented) when the target’s profile shared their political ideology.”
Politics did not create the current gender rift, but it is making things worse. Men and women who have ever been hurt or mistreated by the opposite sex more readily make their pain public, and their personal grievances become politicized.
Source: Daniel A. Cox
