The First Three Steps to Prepare for Divorce in California
Divorce can be a stressful and emotionally demanding time. Many people find the situation challenging to navigate, especially if they aren’t adequately prepared before the process begins.
Step One – Look into Divorce Basics:
Residency Requirements: either spouse must be a state resident for divorce purposes. The general conditions are six months of residency in the state with three months in the same county. You can find these requirements in California Family Code § 2320.
Grounds for Divorce: California is a no-fault divorce state and does not require spouses to prove someone’s guilt. Instead, they can use irreconcilable differences or insanity to end a marriage. Look for details in California Family Code §2310.
Property Division: spouses must divide their property upon divorce. All assets and debts acquired and owed during the marriage are marital property and will be split in half between the couple. However, many complications may arise for long-term unions with substantial property, businesses, and commingled assets. You can learn about the property laws from Division 7 (§§ 2500-2660) of the Family Code.
Child Custody and Support: every divorce includes custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and child support decisions. You can research this topic by looking into §§ 3900-4253 (child support) and §§ 3000-3465 (child custody).
Spousal Support (Alimony): one spouse may receive financial support from the other after divorce. Its amount and duration differ from case to case. More details are in §§ 4300-4360 of the California Family Code.
A Mandatory Waiting Period: couples in California must wait six months after starting a divorce case to become officially divorced. Even if they obtained the divorce decree earlier than six months from filing, the judge will use a later date on the decree that indicates when the judgment goes into effect. Neither spouse can get a marriage license and get married before that divorce decree’s date. Learn about the waiting period in the Family Code § 2339.
Step Two – Decide How You Want to Divorce:
Uncontested Divorce: An uncontested divorce is the easiest method. First, you and your spouse must agree on essential issues like dividing marital property, arranging child custody, a child support order, and whether or not you’d like to use spousal support. It also means that you don’t need a divorce lawyer. Instead, you can independently complete the divorce paperwork and file it with your local Superior Court.
Uncontested Divorce With a Divorce Mediator: If you're having trouble reaching crucial decisions, consider using divorce mediation to facilitate your uncontested divorce. A divorce mediator is a family law expert who acts as an impartial assistant while you’re creating your marital settlement agreement. Mediators won’t make any decisions for you or force you to comply with their opinions.
You can conference with a mediator over the phone or face-to-face. It’s a low-pressure situation and isn’t as financially taxing as hiring lawyers. Mediation costs a fraction of what most people will pay in legal fees. Since you’re both using the same mediator, you can even split the cost.
Your mediator will listen to your concerns and propose solutions that may help you solve your disagreements. You’ll have the final say in what you choose to do. If your mediator enables you to reach conclusions, you can use the documents and notes your mediator generated to file for an uncontested divorce.
Collaborative Divorce with Lawyers: Collaborative divorce can be a solution for couples who can’t reach conclusions in mediation. First, each spouse hires a lawyer and a team of divorce professionals during a collaborative divorce. Then, everyone works together to find solutions to disagreements. You’ll sign an agreement at the beginning of the process that states that you’d both prefer to keep your divorce out of court, and if you decide to go to court, your current lawyers won’t represent you. The agreement keeps you focused on finding solutions outside of court.
You’ll have regular meetings where lawyers and other professionals will give their opinions until you’ve negotiated a divorce settlement with which you’re comfortable. Then, you can use the agreement you negotiated in a collaborative divorce setting to file for an uncontested divorce.
Contested Divorce with Lawyers: A contested divorce is one where spouses cannot agree on at least one aspect of the settlement. In this case, you’ll each hire a lawyer and other family law experts and have a divorce trial in court. The judge will listen to both arguments and make a final judgment on the contested issues. At the end of a contested divorce, you must abide by the judge’s orders.
A contested divorce is one of the longest, most expensive and stressful ways to get divorced. Only a small percentage of divorces escalate to this point. It’s always best to avoid contested divorce when possible.
Step Three – Organize Your Documents:
California is a community property state, where every asset and debt that either of you obtained during your marriage belongs to both spouses. To divide these assets equally, California courts require a lot of financial documents from both spouses.
They include your tax returns, information on your investments, pension, 401K information, and a detailed property list.
Here are several important documents you will need to collect:
Bank statements (savings, checking, and other accounts)
Tax returns from the past two years
Credit card statements
Stocks and bonds certificates or statements
Retirement information (individual and employer-sponsored retirement accounts)
Payroll stubs for the past several months
Income statements
Debt records
Pension benefit statements
Mortgage and loan documents
Life insurance policies
Health insurance forms
Student loans
Unemployment compensation information
Investment accounts statements
Public assistance (SSI, TANT)
Social security statements
Real estate titles
Documents showing the purchase of real estate
Vehicle titles
Inheritance and trusts information
The divorce process will also require your marriage certificate, as well as birth certificates and social security numbers for the children involved in your divorce. Other documents you might need are the following:
Prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement
Past judgments you or your spouse obtained, e.g., previous marriages and divorces
Pending cases in which you or your children participate
Spousal or child support you pay or receive
Both parties’ social security numbers
When gathering these important documents, ask your employer or your accountant for copies of some of them. In addition, you may want to keep important documents in a safety deposit box.
Gathering your documentation can take a while, especially if you need to make a lot of requests to other people for help. Therefore, to have every document ahead of time, it is best to start the process as early as possible. *For a more complete list and customized procedure reach out to me by booking your first discovery session here on my website.
Taking the First Step
Preparing for divorce in California can feel overwhelming, but the process becomes much more manageable when you take it step by step. If you’re ready to take control of your next steps and want professional guidance tailored to your situation, I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery session.
Together, we’ll review your goals, identify potential challenges, and create a clear plan for moving forward with confidence.
