Taking the High Road in Divorce
Trending—“Cooperative Practice” truly settles all differences. I am committed to finding a solution by working with another coach or divorce attorney. A Cooperative Practice can be accomplished with the right mindset—are you interested in resolution? Both parties need to be.
What Does Taking the High Road Look Like?
“Taking the High Road” means shifting the focus toward an amicable approach to divorce during a possible High-Conflict divorce. It's creating the best intentions for yourself and others who are impacted by your presence—be they family, friends, co-workers, people you do business with, neighbors, and anyone within your community circle—and choosing to act as your best self.
It means letting go of ideas like "Winning" or "Getting Even!" Whenever I hear a client say I want to get what’s mine ON PRINCIPLE- that means they are not engaged in cooperative practice.
It means retaining your dignity and preserving your self-esteem. It means rising above feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness, which have the potential to turn anyone into the worst version of themselves. It means staying in alignment with their integrity and values.
It means choosing healthy boundaries, practices, and relationships even when someone feels like doing just the opposite. In this way, taking the high road models for yourself how to move through challenging circumstances while staying connected to one's best self.
Tracy Callahan, Supreme Court of Florida Certified Family Mediator, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® says:
By “Taking the High Road,” you're choosing a future of possibility, hope, and happiness rather than fighting to stay in a past of pain, fear, and anger.
Knowingly and willfully engaging in a proactive process with the right mindset and intentions, positive action, and outcome, for the greater good of yourself and your children
To trust your inner, true, authentic self and allow your moral compass to guide you regardless of the numerous minefields set up to deter you.
To redefine the meaning of divorce by turning conflict into opportunity.
Choosing you and your family over conflict and contention.
To choose peace over prolonged anger and anguish.
Being true to yourself … Conducting yourself in a manner that stands true to the amazing person you are, not letting the circumstances cause you to lose sight of that.
Remembering that this too (the divorce process) shall pass. However, how you conduct yourself during the process will be forever etched in your memory and being… All the more reason to preserve your dignity and reputation by taking the high road.
Kurt Chacon, Collaborative Attorney, CDC® says:
Taking the high road and divorce is about divorcing differently.
It's about being your best when times are the worst.
It's about taking a stand for yourself, your family, and your legacy.
Supporting clients along the High Road is one of the highest callings of divorce coaching.
What Gets in the Way of Taking the High Road?
Painful emotions: anger, fear, hostility
Not trusting the other's motives: They may take advantage of niceties and use it against me!
Wanting emotional justice for being cheated out of dreams, expectations, etc.
A Guide for Taking the High Road in Divorce
“Conscious Uncoupling” by Katherine Woodward Thomas, was published in 2015. In 2014, while the book was still in production, celebrity Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Chris Martin, announced they were consciously uncoupling.
The book she wrote serves as a roadmap for taking the high road in divorce.
Accepting what is the new reality instead of blaming and shaming the other person.
Commitment to align with our best self and understand what role one played in the demise of the relationship.
Putting the needs, health, and well-being of the children first.
Looking at divorce as an opportunity to let go of the past and become a better version of oneself, knowing one did the best one could do.
The couple chooses to leave each other and all involved in a healthy and whole way, enhanced by the love that’s been shared, rather than diminished by the way the relationship ends.
The goal is best to supersede any impulse we may have to lash out and do harm by making decisions and taking actions with the sole intent of bringing health completion and fostering hope and healing for all involved.
During this transition, we aspire to do the least amount of damage to ourselves, each other, our children, and the extended community of family and friends who have supported this union.
We avoid unnecessary and costly litigation that could do irreparable damage and drain resources and work instead to solve our problems with professionals who can help us to do so with integrity, fairness, honesty, and even-handedness.
As I mentioned, an amicable, cooperative divorce can happen however it takes a commitment to this mindset not only from one party but both.
Taking the High Road is a challenging but attainable approach to divorce. It specialize in taking this theoretical idea and applying to the day-to-day challenges of your situation.
Set up a Complimentary Discovery Session today, and we’ll discuss your unique story.
