Providing Support for Attorneys and Their Clients
During the very difficult process of divorce, coaching from a certified, qualified professional like myself can provide support and problem-solving assistance to augment legal representation successfully.
I often hear attorneys practicing family law complain that they spend a lot of time “handholding” their clients, which can distract them from the primary functions of investigating and valuing assets and income and preparing the financial case for negotiation or litigation. While an attorney’s training prepares him or her for conducting discovery, motion practice, negotiation, and trial skills, there is little training in working with people undergoing a grief process. Nor are they necessarily trained in coaching clients through significant life changes, such as preparing their client emotionally, returning to the job market or preparing for co-parenting, challenging communication with a narcissistic soon-to-be ex-spouse, or child-rearing as a single parent. While a person getting divorced certainly needs the skills of a highly trained attorney in navigating the court system, he or she may also need help with parenting concerns and feel overwhelmed by changing financial and life circumstances.
If you’re an attorney and this tension is familiar to you, I can provide much-needed assistance to the client, freeing you to focus on the legal aspects of the divorce.
Not Every Client Needs a Therapist
Historically, attorneys have referred clients with these issues to mental health professionals for counseling. However, while many people in the early stages of a divorce are distraught and under great stress, their distress is often situational. It does not rise to the level of a psychological disorder. These individuals may not need the skills of a highly trained therapist. Rather, they would greatly benefit from a trained Divorce Coach to help them organize, prioritize, and set goals. I am trained to help people maximize their strengths and develop new strengths and skills to cope with the significant life changes divorce often brings.
The Divorce Coaching Approach
For most, divorce is a cauldron of emotion – the felt sense of the loss of a dream, the threat of an uncertain future, and the loss of an identity. Yet, it is also a new beginning with promise and opportunity. The challenge is for the client to own their feelings and navigate toward a positive outcome, I suggest those going through a divorce ask themselves:
• Who are my allies who will listen with care and compassion, having my best interests at heart? By referring your client to me for total client care and comprehensive care, you set yourself apart from other family law attorneys.
• How can I best care for myself? Who and what brings me solace and joy? For some, it's jogging, music, reading, poetry, or prayer. I focus on and create a self-care plan with clients, even down to working on nutritional self-care.
• Reflecting on past experiences, what lessons have I learned that can help me now? How did I get through the last hard time? What was helpful for me and what was not? As a coach, I am focused on complete healing along the way- through the process, not just post. I als offer Somatic healing sessions for those that have experienced trauma within the marriage.
• Who can I be with unconditionally, without the need to tidy up or explain myself, especially at a time when I have so many questions and so few answers? I am an unbiased advocate, a sounding board, and a thinking partner with complete confidentiality assured.
I can help clients navigate the transition at hand, enabling your clients to leverage their strengths while being mindful of the inevitable challenges and pitfalls of their unique situation. For example, in many traditional households, one parent is often the administrative parent, scheduling medical appointments, signing the children up for activities, and managing schoolwork. Once a divorce has been filed, the parties are usually expected to co-parent and share these responsibilities. Communication about the children’s activities no longer happens through notes left on the refrigerator and the administrative parent can have difficulty both in giving up control and in developing a positive method of communication with the other parent. As a skilled coach I can work with the administrative parent to help him or her develop and implement an appropriate plan of action.
The Financial Impact of Divorce
One of the more challenging aspects of divorce is helping your client understand that the family income that provided a comfortable lifestyle in one home cannot possibly stretch to cover the demands of maintaining two households during and after the divorce. I can help evaluate the choices that must be made, including reducing expenses, assisting the client with resources, and coaching them through returning to the workforce or making more financially reasonable choices. Some people need a sympathetic ear while working through a major life transition.
Credentials Matter
I am not just a qualified divorce coach; I meet the professional standards in certifications. While a professional coach can help with most issues, when seeking assistance with a divorce, clients or counsel look to me, a CDC Divorce Coach who has experience in the following:
• Amicable Divorce
• High Conflict Divorce
• High Net-Worth Divorce
• Parenting & Co-Parenting
• Domestic Violence/Abused Spouse
• Abandoned Spouse
• Men’s Rights through Divorce
Specific areas that need to be addressed, such as finances, career counseling, or parenting assistance. I am willing to share my training and experience and to provide references. Clients can expect me to help with goal setting and to establish accountability.
My fees are lower than an attorney’s hourly rate, and I am available to deal with the practical issues arising from a divorce. I can be a valuable complement to you, the attorney! Forming a team that the client can rely on to manage the major life experience of a divorce.
Reach out to me, and I can provide you with Collaborative Options for comprehensive client care.
I got your back.
